i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
