dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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