new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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