Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
