READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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