She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
