Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
