when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
