I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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