And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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