Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He? As in you personified your dick?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
