if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Randomize
