I'm gonna have a badass scar
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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