im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
