i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He has the fingertips of a God
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