And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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