Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
