She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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