I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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