what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
