He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
