So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
