Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
did you just send me my own nude
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
