i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
