I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
