I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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