apparently the secret to your success is patron
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
