the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
