Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
