You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
