So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
