Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
