Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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