Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
