Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
