so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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