I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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