Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
