So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize