Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
