No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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