Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
