Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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