Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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