dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
