She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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