yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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