smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
