it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
