it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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