No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My balls are so social today.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
