he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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