What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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