...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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