EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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