I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
