You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
