when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
