I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize