Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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