I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
