how can u be prego again
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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